Dead Birds Falling

Is anyone else having a hard time wrapping their brain around the whole birds-falling-out-of the- sky and the fireworks theory?   Or is it just me? I have to admit there are some far out theories out there.  One AP article out of Little Rock explained someone speculation that it was “the Angry Bird game”   I quote….”One spectacularly dumb bird led his feather compatriots in a fatal plunge.”  LOL I’ve been having a great time imagining this explanation.  First I see 3,000 birds picking away in a huge field of fermented wild berries.  Then the dumbest bird, who also happens to be the bird that ate the most berries manages to flip and flop his way to the top of a fence post.   From his perch he addresses the masses.  I can hear him squawk….”Hey I have a great idea.  When the humans start shooting off fireworks for the New Year, let’s all grab onto the tail of one and see if it takes us back to the Garden of Eden.   Then there is much feet stomping, wing waving, and cawing in agreement.   The next thing you know you read about 3,000 kamikaze birds in the news. What a bunch of bird brains! I guess what really bothers me is that the media implies that we are bird brains for coming up with these conspiracy theories and not just buying into the fireworks theory.   Another quote from the AP article actually quotes a religious studies professor from a eastern university to debunk any end of the world theories.

I quote….”There’s no prophecy in the bible about the birds falling from the sky.”  I personally am not one that can quote from the bible but I did look up this quote from Luke 21:  11

“There will be great earthquakes, plagues and famines in various places – and in the sky fearful omens and great signs.”   This religion professor evidently does not consider 3,000 dead black birds falling from the sky a fearful omen.   Man, I hope this guy is tenured.   It is not that I personally think the falling birds is a sure sign of the end of the world, but I am just not buying the fireworks theory either.  If I am honest with myself maybe being from North Dakota puts limits on my perception.  At the beginning of the New Year 2011 it was -4 degrees and pitch dark for 9 hours.  We can’t exactly set up lawn chairs in 5 feet snow drifts to watch fireworks.  Nor can we even light fireworks when the wind is blowing about 22mph.  I do realize in other parts of the world, such as Beebe, Arkansas, it is possible to ring in the New Year with fireworks.   The amount of fireworks is what I am having a hard time with.  How many fireworks does it take to bring down 3,000 black birds?  I quote again from the AP article…..”They say the loud cracks and booms likely sent the birds into such a tizzy that they crashed into homes, cars and each other before plummeting to their deaths.” So let me break this sentence down with some reasonable questions.

1.)    Who is “They?”  Are “They” the people that were shooting off the fireworks and maybe pointed a few into a flock of roosting blackbirds just for the fun of it?

2.)    “loud cracks and booms”  Where were these black birds last year?  After the first few cracks and booms you would think the birds would know what was going on and they would lay low like they should have been at that time of the night anyway.  These birds most have had some experience with past 4th of July celebrations and fireworks.   On this particular New Years the fireworks sent 3,000 of them into a “tizzy.”  I can understand a couple hundred birds forgetting that fireworks make loud noises and if you fly into them you could actually get your wings singed.  But 3,000 birds being thrown into a tizzy just doesn’t add up.   That is a whole lot of really dumb birds in one place.

3.)    “They crashed into homes, cars and each other”  Let me get this straight.  Somewhere there are 3,000 birds sitting together.   This is where the North Dakota perception comes into play again.  I don’t think there is a tree in North Dakota that can hold 3,000 birds.  That means there would have to be bunches of trees together in one area.  In North Dakota we are hard pressed to find 2 trees standing next to each other. I really have absolutely no idea how many black birds can sit together in one tree.  For my own perception I can only imagine that every single tree in Beebe must have been filled with red-winged blackbirds.  For me that would be a sight in itself to see.   Again, it is that North Dakota perception.  The birds that stay and tough out the winder here are few and far between. But back to the fireworks theory.  The blasting of the fireworks causes 3,000 birds to totally lose control of their inbred instinct of flying. That is just plain weird.  Wouldn’t a startled bird fly upwards and out of the way of any danger?  If these birds were sitting in trees weren’t they mostly above the houses and cars?  That means when the noise sent them into a tizzy they flew down instead of up.  What bird would do that? A bunch of birds that have been feasting on fermented wild berries earlier in the evening, I guess.

4.)    “Plummeting to their death”  I think plummeting is the wrong word here.  Plummeting sounds like they fell from a much higher up distance.  If they hit cars, these birds only fell a few feet to the ground unless the car was parked on top of a house. Every time I try to imagine two birds flying into each other with such a force that they drop dead, I can only come up with a cartoon version and it is laugh out loud funny.  (No disrespect to the birds)

All I know is that if I would have had a bird’s eye view of this birds-falling-out-of-the-sky scene, I think I would have scream “Apocalypse.”




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8 Responses to Dead Birds Falling

  1. This analysis is hysterically wonderful. Also, I’m impressed that you found the passage in Luke except now I’m worried about the cricket plaque I was reading about in the news today.

    Thanks for writing this post and the one about THE discount. I’m beginning to sometimes get THE discount so I could really relate.
    Cheers, Simone

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Thank you for reading my blog. “hysterically wonderful” is such a huge compliment. It really made my day. I haven’t heard about the crickets yet but will have to look into it. Sounds funny!

  2. Deb Sheffield says:

    Okay, and once again I’m laughing out loud here all by myself!!! This is great!

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Deb, I can never thank you enough for being my hope and inspiration for writing this Blog. Every time I re-evaluate what I am doing writing a Blog, you leave me a “laugh-out-loud” comment and I am inspired to write again. It would be safe to say that without your support I probably would have backed away from this idea by now.

  3. Your making a big deal out of a few birds falling from the sky (3000+) but you did fill the page.

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Hey Ken, thanks for reading my blog. I don’t think I have many males ready my blog so I always appreciate your comments and perspectives. And FYI I could have written more about the birds but I didn’t want to beat a dead BIRD

  4. Amy says:

    personally i was really hoping for an invisible alien space ship theory. You know, the one where there is in alien space ship hovering over parts of the earth spying on us and the birds all hit it at once!!

  5. mickeyrenner says:

    Amy, thank you so much for reading my blog and leaving a comment. A few faithful followers like you really make this a fun experience for me. I appreciate your faithful support. I think the alien space ship is a better explanation because then I would understand the use of the word “plummeting.”

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