Where’s the Scissors?

I mentioned growing up in a large family.  But large family or not, growing up is a struggle.  No mate your family size we all brought fears, issues and quirks with us to adulthood.  When it comes to fears, issues and quirks, I am, of course, extreme.  I will Google The Phobia list just to identify fears that I DON”T have.  Obviously I don’t have (but I probably should) Amathophobia…the fear of dust.   Also, I don’t have Aulophobia….the fear of flutes.  I can’t play a flute but I am not scared to be in the same room with one.  Also going through the list makes me feel good about myself because if the fear has a name that means I am not the only one with that fear.   One distinguishing quirk I have I do blame on the fact that I grew up with 4 brothers and 3 sisters.  I have to at all times have a scissors within my reach.  This abnormality is because I grew up in a household with a scissors to people ration of 1:11 [I count our dog Columbo, because if he knew we were looking for the scissors he would guard it with his life until we traded it for a Recees candy bar.  And then we wondered why the dog would practically gas us to death while we watched TV in the evening.] Every single time my sister and wanted to do something fun like make our own Valentines’ Day cars or homemade paper dolls we had to first find the scissors.  The scissors was supposed to be in the top drawer in the kitchen by the phone.  Keep in mind I am talking about a phone mounted to the wall that never moved.  The drawer never moved either.  Yet the scissors were always on the move.  It was NEVER in the drawer when someone needed it.  Of course I would look there first.  I don’t think the scissors was ever in the drawer when I looked for it.   So then I would yell at the top of my lungs, “Mom, where is the scissors?”  My mom would come into the kitchen and tell me for the millionth time that if the scissors was not in the drawer where it was suppose to be she had no idea where it was.  And how many times did she have to tell us kids to put the scissors back where it belongs when we were done with it.  And how many times did she have to tell us not to yell when the baby was sleeping.   [That fact that my mom isn’t institutionalized some places amazes me!] Well, then the hunt began.  First my sister and I would look in our bedroom in case we were the ones that were using them last and never put them back in the drawer.  Both of us were attending Catholic Elementary school and they pretty much condition you to blame yourself first.  The next two rooms we checked were the living room and my parents’ bedroom, because my sister and I would sneak in those two rooms and lock the door so we wouldn’t have to play with my younger sister.  She was too young to play with scissors anyway. Although, the next place we looked was the baby’s bedroom because my little sister may have got a hold of the scissors and decided to cut my baby sister’s hair.   Then we would check the bathroom in case someone was using it to cut toenails.   After that we would go upstairs and check my brothers’ bedroom.  If any of my brothers were using the scissors they were (GASP!) running with them! They also needed the scissor to whittle tinker toys into arrows.   If the scissors couldn’t be found in the boys’ bedroom we would head outside.  There was good chance one of my brothers threw the scissors out the second floor window to see if it would stick in the grass.   We would eventually find the scissors.  But I know for a fact after we were done using them we never put them back in the kitchen drawer.  Whoever needed them next had to look for then themselves.  Now in adulthood I have switched the scissor ratio around.  I have at least 11 pairs of scissors in my house for me, one person.    [This does not count any of my fancy scrapbooking scissors]  I do not keep any of them in a drawer in the kitchen.  I have a basket of pens and pencils on my kitchen table.  In that same basket there are also 3 scissors.  On the kitchen counter behind the kitchen table  I have a pencil holder with a place for 3 more scissors.  At any point in time if I am sitting at the kitchen table I have 6 scissors within my reach.   This is of course, ludicrous since I can only use one scissors at a time anyway.  I also have a scissors on the end table by the couch in the TV room, one right here by the computer, one on the dryer in the laundry room, one in the drawer in the bathroom (BTW, the only one I actually keep in a drawer) and one in the glove compartment in my car.   Ironically, I do not carry one in my purse because I think it is too dangerous.  When I got a teaching position at the university, my BFF Brenda, gave me a really neat desk set.  She taped a little note in the scissors compartment that stated the fact that I absolutely could not buy a new scissors.  I had to use one of the scissors from my stash at home.  Can you believe I couldn’t do it?  By the time I took the desk set to my office at the university I had 3 new scissors proudly displayed in my neat new desk set.   I guess this scissors quirk really is just another fear.  I haven’t been through the entire phobia list so I don’t know if there is such a fear…..the fear of having to look for a scissors.   I think I may be on my own with this one.

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7 Responses to Where’s the Scissors?

  1. Deb Sheffield says:

    We are made from the same mold…or have I mentioned that before? I am NOT QUITE as extreme as you are, but I do have 3 scissors within reach of the dining room table, one in my knitting basket at the end of the loveseat, one in the medicine chest in my bathroom, two in a can on my scrapbook desk, (not counting the 5 or 6 fancy scissors in a different can, also on said desk) one in my wrapping paper stuff in the basement, and a couple in Phil’s desk in the basement! :o). All I can say is that great minds DO think and act alike!

  2. mickeyrenner says:

    Great minds do think alike! I forgot the two scissors that I have stored away with my Christmas wrapping supplies. And still when I wrap Christmas presents I am constantly looking for where I laid the scissors (and the tape). Have a great weekend, Deb. Nik is coming home for the weekend and that will be GREAT!

  3. Brenda says:

    You bought more scissors for the desk set I bought you?! Oh the truth comes out! LOL Love your blog!

  4. Mary Mercado says:

    This is so funny. So I got locked out of playing with you two?! I guess I can rantionalize playing with your Barbies when you weren’t home rather than “blame myself”!!

  5. mickeyrenner says:

    What! You played with our Barbies when we weren’t home. You can quit blaming yourself. We specifically asked mom and she said you never touched them! Blame mom! Love you sis

  6. This entry of yours produced tears of laughter. And as i tried to explain my laughter, through the laughter, regarding the constant missing scissors to Brendon it reminded me of my own childhood, and the lack of available pencils. You see when I needed a pencil to do homework, it also always required a hunt. The hunt never produced a sharpened pencil. The pencil was always dull (sometimes the lead was missing all together), and forget it having a working eraser. Once we found the dull pencil my mom would grab a kitchen knife (because the scissors still went missing her house… maybe it was because she also had 2 girls who probably never put it back in the drawer:) and proceed to sharpen it. I assume where ever the scissor was, is probably where the pencil sharpener was too!… Too funny, this one is my favorite!!

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