We already talked about my memory issues. Anyway, I think we did. I can’t quite remember. Today I would like to address my memorization issues. [There is very little in my life that I don’t have issues with, but you probably already figured that out.]. There are certain things in my life that I just cannot memorize. Telephone numbers, of course, are one of them. It is like I have this unwritten rule in my head that the memory capacity for telephone numbers is strictly one-per-person. Since I have the telephone number from my teen yeas memorized that leaves me struggling with my own phone numbers. Actually, I was doing alright when everyone’s prefix number was the same. I could memorize a few telephone numbers. But then the government stepped in and broke up the telephone monopoly and all sort of new prefixed came with phone numbers. [I always like when I can somehow blame the government.] My own phone number changed years ago, and I still always have to pause to think when someone asked for my phone number. Here is the real crux of the problem. I hate this huge mental block that I am going to be asked something as simple as my phone number and I will embarrass myself by stumbling over the number or worse yet, not even know it. I am sure there is some deep, complex psychological issue that can explain this mental defect. [Either that or I am just plain stupid. I’ll report, you decide] Since I personally put the fear out there it then indeed happens to me. It is so embarrassing. There was this really cute guy that asked for my phone number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper and slipped it to him. I was really feeling good about the whole thing. I was excitedly thing about if he would call, what we would talk about, would he ask me out, where we would go, and how far we would go. As it turned out, I realized when I got home that I wrote down the wrong prefix for my cell phone number. God only know who he ended up calling. All I know is that it wasn’t me. After my last dating escapade I realize now that the guy probably thought that if this woman can’t remember her cell phone number there is a good chance she isn’t remembering to take birth control either. My brain is notorious for doing this to me. When It is super important to remember something I should have committed to memory, my brain goes into lock down mode and I am left looking like an idiot. It is not just with phone numbers. It is anything that a normal person with normal brain capacity has no trouble memorizing. For me the one-per-person unwritten rule also applies to addresses. I know my own home address so that is my one and not another one can be committed to my memory. After working a couple of year at the library I still cannot remember the address. The really sad part is that I see the address many times throughout the day. Yet, I cannot remember it since that brain slot is already taken with my own home address. Just the other day I got the dreaded phone call at work when someone calls and asks, “Where are you located?” I so badly want to answer with the question, “Where did you get this phone number?” That way when they say they looked it up in the phone book I can say, “Didn’t you see the address listed there too?” No, instead I have to ask another worker at the library what our address is. Unfortunately for me, the last time this happened, the only other person around to ask was my boss. So now I have doubly embarrassed myself. The person on the phone is wondering how a person with my limited brain capacity even got a job at the library. Meanwhile, my boss is thinking that she should have asked in my interview if I could memorize the address of my place of employment in a timely matter. I managed to get past all that but then the caller asks the worst possible question, “How do you get to the library?” This is disastrous for me. As you can imagine, I am horrible at giving directions. With the ability to memorize just one address, there is no ability to give directions from any one place to another. As the caller is faced with complete silence on my side of the conversation it ends up being a game of Twenty Questions.
1. Are you located downtown.
2. Can I get there on Highway 22?
3. Do I go south on Highway 22?
4. Do I turn right on 3rd Avenue?
5. Do I turn left on 3rd avenue”
You get the idea. I do try to through in some helpful suggestions by mentioning landmarks in the area. However, more than likely since they don’t know where the library is they also don’t know any of the landmarks that are in the same area. So that approach isn’t any help to them. This fatal phone call ended with the question:
20. Does the building say Public Library on it?
A: Yes [But unfortunately on only one side of the building which means that whoever I gave directions probably had to circle several large brick buildings in the area until they found the library.]
Eventually everyone will have and –phone and they will be able to download the “How-to-get-t the-Public-Library” app. I have this feeling that the downloadable app will conclude with this statement… “You have successfully reached your destination. Now go inside and tell that loser where she can go.”