In the Crutches of Fear

Hello? Is anyone there?  I know it has been over 15 months since I posted a blog.  Shameful!

Sanctioned sabbaticals are usually 12 months after which the person has something to show for their break like a Nobel Peace Prize, a book on the New York Times Bestsellers List, or a advance new medical discovery.    Sadly all I have to show for it is a “break”……literally.

 

On July 1st I stepped on my alarm clock.  I know what you are thinking.  What was my alarm clock doing on the floor or why was I walking on my nightstand next to the bed?  The answer to either of these two questions is irrelevant.  The reality is I broke my left foot and was rendered incapacitated.  (I am also a little constipated but I think that is from the painkillers)  Stepping on my alarm clock caused me to twist my foot in the exact opposite direction I was intending to step.  This twist caused my foot to swell up and turn various colors of purple.  Not being able to stuff my swollen rainbow colored foot into a normal shoe caused me to go to the ….get this…..”Walk-in Clinic.”  Need I say I didn’t walk out of the Walk-in Clinic?  I hobbled out in the gigantic black book and a pair of crutches.  Wait hobble is way to tame of a word.  In truth I left the building the way a spasmodic octopus probably would have.  I had arms, crutches, a free foot, a foot strapped into a knee high BIG boot, car keys, and my purse flapping and flying in every direction.  I can assure you during this time no one was watching the 72” screen TV, taking a nap after waiting 2 hours, or reading the Christmas issue of Reader’s Digest.  All eyes in the waiting room were waiting to witness the miracle of me getting out the door without breaking any other of the 207 bones in my body.  My sister Mary said it best.   She said that me with a boot and crutches is just another accident waiting to happen.  I am “crutchedly” challenged.  Add painkillers to that mix and I am screwed.  Is it my imagination or is the medical community working against us?  I mean, here I come into a clinic admitting that I was klutzy enough to break my foot by stepping on an alarm clock.  So the solution is to give me a giant boot that it is so heavy I can hardly lift it off the ground, a pair of crutches that are actually 6 inches below my armpits and a bottle of painkillers. Does this combination sound like a secure and safe plan to ultimately provide me with steady protection from further breaks?  HECK NO!   This combination screams…..”See you back here in about a week.  And be sure to use our crawl-in entrance around the back.

 

There is of course much more to this story and I want to blog more about it.  But before I do I want to say something about the “break” in by blog.  As you know perception is everything.  When I was writing my blog from December 2010 – April 2011,  I was loving it.  I was excited to come up with ideas.  I was enjoying the wring and I cannot describe the personal satisfaction of pressing the post button.  So all these positive synopses were popping in my right brain, but with modern technology a Blog can be monitored statistically 24/7. Those statistics are something to be feared by the left brain.  Numbers fascinate me but not when they are keeping a blog score.  The synopses in my left brain were negatively snapping at me.  The popping and snapping were causing my brain to crack up.  While the snap, crackling, and popping was going on in my brain I didn’t write.  Then the week after I broke my foot I ended up I “crutch school.”  My crutch instructor asked me what my goals were.  Out loud I said, “to learn better balance while using the crutches correctly.” [Actually, I think I read that statement in a pamphlet in the waiting room] In my head I said, “Not to fear that every step I take with my crutches doesn’t bring me one step closer to complete immobilization.” 

 

Asking about my goal reminded me that when I had my book, “Sidewalk Thoughts” published I said my expectations was that if one person read the book and it made them laugh it was worth writing.  This same expectation should hold true for my Blog.  I am going to refrain from analyzing the logic behind the stark statistical daily blog scores.  Besides, recent research has shown that abilities are actually strongest when both halves of the brain work together.  Now there is a stellar revelation.  Is research suggesting that things work out better when people actually work together towards a common goal?  Wow, never saw that one coming!  I wonder how many Phd’s and how much federal grant money it took to come up with that conclusion.

[NOTE: no offense to my brilliant niece Julie, who just earned her PhD on August 3rd.  She knows I am attempting to be sarcastic] 

 

My left brain is telling me to Google a day counter and find out exactly how many days have gone by since I last posted on my Blog.  My right brain is saying I should just guesstimate.  Working together with both sides of my brain I want to make the this statement, “Not one of the approximately 484 days went by that I didn’t wish I would have posted a blog, for someone, for anyone, or maybe even for me.

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4 Responses to In the Crutches of Fear

  1. Deb Sheffield says:

    Oh, I’m sooooo glad you’re back! So sorry about the break, too, of course… :o)

  2. becky charvat says:

    i for one bought and read sidewalk thoughts and i will read your blog daily if you write it. your sense of humor is what i love about you best–if you ever need further food for thought–i actually have some good dilarity (humor in connection with dieing) stories. almost had to live through it to get the laugh from it, but what the hay! sorry about your foot!!

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Hey Cousin, thank you for reading my blog and leaving a comment. I love when someone leaves a comment. I won’t be blogging daily, but hopefully another 15 months won’t pass by before my next post. I will probably e-mail you about “dilarity:” Sounds funny and I like funny! Love you cuz!

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