Booty Trapped

Thank you to anyone and everyone who read my Blog.  I don’t know how many there are of you since my new rule is not to look at the Stats page.  Next time my son is home I am going to have him try to put a parental control on that tab so that I can’t even get into it if I am tempted to do so.  I do know my BFF, Brenda, read it and she supplies me with tons of encouragement which I gratefully appreciate.  Another reader I know is my FIRST friend, Deb, [we became friends when we were about 3 years old] wrote me a very encouraging welcome back comment which really meant a lot to me.  Also my cousin Becky, who I reconnected with this summer, is a new reader to my blog but she has promised to be a faithful reader and even a contributor to the family member themed blogs.  That is 3 readers that I know for sure without tapping into the stats page.  My goal was to write for 1.  If I am doing the math correctly that is a 300% increase above my expectations.  Now those are statistics I can relate to and live with! So allow me to blog on…

As you probably have guessed I did successfully stumble out of the walk-in-clinic to my car.  By “successfully” I mean that I personally did not fall and break another appendage. However, my “now-extra-shoe” fell out of my purse and my car keys fell out of my hand.  f Sidebar f These last 8 weeks I have thrown my dryer into a tizzy.  Since I only wear one sock I have been tossing all these single socks into the dryer.  The dryer is totally confused.  It cannot comprehend what to do with a single sock.  If there is a pair of socks the dryer obviously swallows one so that the laundry folder person ends up with a stack of single socks.  But if you only through in single socks it does the dryer no good to swallow any of them because the folder person won’t know any socks are missing.  For two months now my dryer has spit out every single solitary sock I have thrown into it.  I know because I line up the unused socks and happily pair them up when I take the laundry out the dryer.  AHHHH, revenge is so sweet!

@ Back on topic:  I was crutching my way back to my car from the clinic.  I thought I was really clever to take the car keys out of my purse before I even took one step with the crutches.  Well that backfired on me because right in the middle of the drop off area the keys fell out of my hand and got caught in the straps of my foot boot.  I couldn’t stop right there and try to untangle them.  I kept moving towards my car and with every stomp of my boot the keys jangled and threatened to fall to the ground.   I personally envisioned them falling right when I got to the car and me kicking them under the car with all the force behind that huge black book.  The vision included having to sit on the ground and fish the keys out with one of the crutches.  I am happy to say that did NOT happen.  When I finally got to my car I leaned the crutches against the car. They of course immediately slid to ground scratching the car door on the way and clattering into a heap on the parking lot. fSidebar f I have since learned that crutches are secretly programmed to slide down to the ground no matter what you set them up against.  There is so cupboard, no cabinet, to table, no desk, nothing that crutches can be leaned against.  My first day back at work I learned quickly to tell everyone that I am going into the bathroom and not to panic if they hear loud noises that sound like someone has fallen. There is no place to lean the crutches in the bathroom so in there it is metal falling onto tile and the noise would make anyone jump.  Besides it isn’t exactly the sort of tone we are trying to accomplish in a library setting.

@ Back on topic:  I put my purse down on the germy ground so I could use both hands to untangle the keys.  That was easier said than done.  I ended up bending over and pushing the unlock button on my keys so I could at least get in the car and sit down.  Butt first, I flopped down sideways in the driver seat and began to tackle the chore of untangling my keys.  It took some time but eventually I did get everything and myself situated into the car.  I didn’t keep exact track but I think 3 lucky people walked out of the clinic and drove away during the time it took me to get to and into my car. I put my purse up front on the passenger seat.  I lean the crutches behind the driver seat and they immediately slid to the floor.  I got both feet to fit under the steering wheel although it felt like my foot boot was dangerously close to the break.  The key was finally safely in the ignition.  I paused and thanked God that it was my left foot that I had broken so that theoretically I could still drive.  Then I reached over to my purse to take out the painkiller prescription the doctor had given me so I could stop and fill it before driving home.  Yup, you guess it!  It wasn’t in my purse.  I left it lay on the registration counter in the walk-in-clinic.  I then asked God to please forgive me for the words that were now going through my head.

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3 Responses to Booty Trapped

  1. Deb Sheffield says:

    Okay, I am laughing out loud and had to tell Phil why, as that usually isn’t the case when I read my e-mail early on a Sunday morning!!!!! Thank goodness you can now find the humor in your situation, because I’m pretty sure you didn’t laugh about it at the time. Thanks again for the first smiles today, my friend! ;o)

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Deb, so glad I could start your day with some smiles. Any if you were laughing out loud that is the highest compliment I can receive. You are right, I did not laugh about it at the time. Ask my family, I had a few melt downs! Love you, my FIRST friend.

  2. Deb Sheffield says:

    I am so honored to have the title FIRST friend! (you just as easily could’ve chosen OLDEST friend, which would also be true as I AM older… that would have been okay, too, but FIRST sounds so much better!) ;o) Looking forward to the next post, as I’m guessing you have more crutch-related tales to spin! I promise I won’t ask any of your family members about any possible melt-downs you might have had… :o)

    I KEEP FORGETTING! We’re going to my cousin’s daughter’s wedding in Beach (church) / Medora (reception, dinner, dance) on October 6…can we stop in to say hello on the way home on Sunday? Phil says you should just come to the party in Medora! ;o) And he also said we can arrange to meet you somewhere, so that you don’t have to worry about cleaning your house. LIKE I AM GOING TO SAY ANYTHING IF YOU DON’T CLEAN!!!???!!! (after 26 years of marriage, he doesn’t know me very well!?!?!) It has been forever since we’ve seen each other; I know you saw Phil and Courtney at some theatre function when our kids were in High School, but I don’t know when you and I saw each other last. If it was when the kids took a bath together, IT HAS BEEN WAAAAAY TOO LONG!

    My cell # is 605-280-0631, just in case…I will look your home phone number up and program it into my phone. Hopefully you’re going to be home…I realize it’s a holiday weekend. My fingers are crossed!!!

    Love you, too, MY first friend!

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