Police – NONEM

Silly me, I thought the homeless man sleeping under the stuffed animals saga was laid to rest for good.  [Bad pun intended]  Au contraire.  Yesterday, while I was doing some minimal house cleaning, the phone rings.  I check the caller ID and it says, “Police NONEM.”  Thankfully they have a caller ID that identifies the call as a non-emergency.  If it would have just said “Police” I probably would have gone into cardiac arrest and God only knows when I would have regain my strength to ever attempt cleaning house again.  So looking at the NONEM my immediate thought was that once again I locked someone in the library overnight.  My next thoughts were a jumble of “who did I lock in”. what did the person steal”, “what was the person caught doing”, “what damage did the person do”, and is my resume up-to-date.   After I worked up the courage to answer the phone, the officer identified himself ad told me that he wanted to go through with me exactly what happened the night I locked the homeless man in the library. This was the first time I ever talked to a policeman about the situation.  The reason he was contacting me now was that the States Attorney was pressing charges. At first I thought against me for being an accomplice! Seriously, what actually is the guy guilty of when he can say that the incompetent librarian locked him up for the night? But the officer said that he wanted to ask me questions about what my procedure was for locking up that evening. I answered the questions as best as I could remember.  After I answered all his questions he asked me if I could actually submit a written statement.  I would need to come up to the law enforcement center and pick up an official statement sheet, fill it out and sign it.  I said I would do that because can a person really say no to the police.  But after I hung up the phone I got to thinking why I was the one that had to drive to the police department and pick up a statement sheet?  Aren’t they supposed to send over a good looking detective that asks me questions and takes notes?  That is how they do it on TV.  All those episodes of Law & Order, when say a bomb goes off in a bar they always say, “Don’t let anyone leave until you have taken their statements.”  Never once I have seen officers handing out statement sheets for people to fill out and sign.  All I ever see is that after the guilty party confesses they push a legal pad and pencil across the table and ask the person to write down their confession.  Let me make it perfectly clear, I am not the guilty one in this situation.  Or at least I don’t think I am.  I always thought that as a witness they take my statement.   Well maybe witness is the wrong word since I never saw the guy! Then going to the law enforcement center is always an unnerving experience.  You have to press a button and then a voice from somewhere asks what your business is for being there.  Since I have no idea where the voice is coming from I have no idea where I am suppose to look when I answer.   The person watching on the camera sees me looking up, down, around and fumbling with my words trying to explain why I am there.  I am sure the lady is thinking twice about buzzing me in. When I finally was handed an official statement sheet and a pen through the barred window, I admitted that I would rather take it home and fill it out.  I should actually be doing that right now but I can’t seem to get serious about it.  Imagine that! If I can turn off the sarcasm in my brain I will eventually attempt to write up a statement even Detective Goren would be proud of.

Goren

After the overnight guest experience my boss scheduled my co-worker, Taylor, to close with me.  He is much more observant and braver than I am.  However, he is leaving in a couple of weeks to join the Army.  I don’t blame him. He will be safer there.  As a send off I wanted to write a poem especially for him.  I don’t write poetry, but I really enjoy writing poems.  To me poetry is too abstract.  It is open to each person’s individual interpretation and I find it hard to pin down any meaning.  When I write a poem I know exactly what I want to say.  Then the fun challenge is to write exactly what I want to say so that is rhymes.  So bear with me my blog friends.  I would like to pay tribute to my co-worker and friend, Taylor (AKA, The Grinch) by posting my poem for him on my blog.

Taylor, No More

Dear Taylor:

You decided it was time to

Change your career

Be all you can be, forge ahead

In high gear

You will meet new people and many more

New places to see

Everyday experiences will be based on

Duty, Honor and Country

One day when you are doing 200 pushups

For forgetting to say “sir”

You will think back to the library

And how things were

Here is what you should remember

No more helping stinky old mean

Who can’t get their document to print

Or helping someone print an e-mail who

Definitely needs a strong breath mint

No more reading disgusting chats between

Men and their search for a Russian bride

Or reading descriptive profile posts

In which they have so blatantly lied

No more attempts to send a 20 page fax

To a number that has been busy for hours

A number which is also toll free so

The cost ends up being ours.

No more listening to loud people answering their cell

And their call that is the most important of all

Or seeing the dirty looks and gestures you get

When you ask them to talk in the entrance hall

No more pushing the copy machine scan buttons

In the right order with such care

Only to walk back to the computer and find the file is not there

So back to the copy machine convinced you

Pushed one wrong button that caused the quirk

Until you realize there isn’t a flash drive in the

Entire library that will work

No more telling a patron that they didn’t return

Their books in on time

Then listening to them rant and complain

While they search for their dime

No more calling people to tell them

They returned the case but not the DVD

Only to hear the entire explanation of how

That possibly can’t be

We must have misplaced it when we checked it in

Of course the next day the DVD is in the book drop bin

No more explaining the difference between a

Temporary library card and one for a fee

Or why an ace Rewards card is not a proper ID

No more explaining to someone over the phone’

Every computer class we offer on the list

Only for them to ask to sign them up

For one the doesn’t exist

No more saying yes we have free wifi

But no it isn’t working today

Yes we have coffee for sale

But no we can’t make you a latte

Seriously:

Taylor, it has always been a pleasure to work with you

You always had my back, you always knew what to do

I am honored too that you took time and care to be my friend

And I sincerely wish you a career of success to the every end

And now as you swear in and head out

For Camp Boot

I would like to say: the best of luck

And Salute!

Mickey's Photos 062

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9 Responses to Police – NONEM

  1. Deb says:

    So happy to hear that they assigned you a co-worker to lock up at night…but why in the world are you letting him join the service?!?!? :o). Demand a replacement!!!!! (Awesome poem; great photo, too, my first friend!).
    XoxoX

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Hey my first friend, If I had my way I would not let Taylor join the service! The powers above me are working on a replacement. They have someone in mind who thankfully is not a big chicken like me, so I think it will work out.
      Thanks for the compliments, the poem was really fun to write.
      Love to you

  2. Brenda says:

    Mickey – that is awesome – and so sad that Taylor is leaving!!!

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Hey Brenda, Thank you for the compliments. I will really miss Taylor, but I wish him the best of luck. He is young and he needs to set his life in a meaningful career direction besides protecting me on Thursday nights.
      Love to you, my BFF

  3. Leslie Wilkie says:

    I miss you and Taylor! You crack me up! 😉

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Yeah, Leslie, you and I were a great team. We cracked each other up and surprisingly no one kicked us out of the library!!!!! I miss our 90 minutes of nonstop laughter. I will miss Taylor. I am trying to convince him to come back an be my body guard after he finishes basic.
      Love to you my friend

  4. Great post, let me know when they lock you up in the pen for locking up that innocent person and having to put him through such a horrible experience with the loud alarm system and not knowing weather or not he will find another place in dickinson to spend the night. I am sure the judge will be lite on you for being a first offense and if you would have 10 kids the time would be less, maybe you can find 10 kids. But i would demand a replacement before you have to do your time so you dont end up multiple charges. I saw that on tv also. Good luck and take care, ken

    • mickeyrenner says:

      Hey Ken, I hope you will come and visit me when they do lock me up after they decide I was an accomplice to letting the homeless sleep in the library.
      You take care too my friend

  5. Mary Mercado says:

    Such a neat and creative poem. Best wishes Taylor. You’ll do fine, soldier.

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