Since I brought it up, I need to Blog about it……7th Period Study Hall. As you might have guessed Def Leppard never did show up. His real name was Chris “something.” Of course I don’t remember his last name and I only remember his first name because he was so much trouble. Chris sat in the front row just kitty corner from my desk. He never had anything to do. He and I had our daily litany.
ME: Chris find something g to do.
CHRIS: I ain’t got nothing to do.
ME: You must have some homework.
CHRIS: Nope, I don’t.
ME: How can you have 6 other classes and no homework?
CHRIS: I skipped 3 of my classes. I only went to Phys Ed, Band and VoAg.
ME: You are in Band?
CHRIS: Yup, I play the drums.
ME: Of course you do. You have to have something to do. That is the rule, so at least find something g to read.
CHRIS: I don’t have nothing I want to read.
ME: Then I will write you a pass to go to the library to get something to read.
CHRIS: I have a better idea. Can you write me a pass to go to my car so that I can get my Playboy magazine and read that?
ME, with my most authoritative voice: “It is the library or nothing”.
CHRIS: Ok, the library then. But they ain’t got anything good to read there.
And that is mostly what I remember about 7th Period Study Hall. 50 minutes of telling students to find something constructive to do and writing out passes. I was constantly writing out passes. After a couple of weeks went by (10 Study Hall Periods) this other kid (I don’t remember his name) asked for a pass to the swimming pool.
KID: Miss Renner, can you write me a pass to go to the swimming pool?
ME: We have a swimming pool?
KID: Of course we have a swimming pool.
ME: I have never seen a swimming pool.
KID: It is underneath the cafeteria.
ME: Really? I didn’t think we had a swim team.
KID: Well we do. We co-op with Washburn and Turtle Lake and we are allowed to practice laps during Study Hall.
ME: I will write you a pass for today, but you know I am going to need to check this out. Who is the Coach of the swimming team?
KID: It is Mr. Bass, but he teaches Biology over at Turtle Lake.
So what the heck, I wrote the kid out a pass to the swimming pool. In my eyes it was one less kid to supervise with absolutely nothing to do. Of course, the next day the principal filled me in about the non existence of a swimming pool, a co-op swim team, or a Coach Bass that teaches Biology in Turtle Lake. None of it was true. Imagine that! I was hoping my extreme gullibility would motivate the principal to assign a more experienced teacher to 7th period Study Hall. No such luck. In October I got a couple days break from Study Hall. Every student was allowed to go to the gym and decorate for Homecoming. It wasn’t that much of a break since I had to accompany the student to the gym. I personally wasn’t the supervisor in charge of decorating (Thank God). My job was to continuously remind Chris that he couldn’t throw rolls of crepe paper at the girls. Nor could he fill balloons with helium, inhale the gas and talk like Donald Duck every 10 minutes. The second day of decorating I thought I would use a different more creative approach with Chris. I told him that I heard how artistic he was (lie, lie) and that maybe he and I could help make the tissue paper flowers. To my surprise Chris was agreeable to the idea. I grabbed some pink tissue paper and Chris grabbed the scissors. With one hand I grabbed the scissors away from Chris and with my other had I grabbed my pad of passes. I wrote Chris a pass to his car. Later I heard he went out to his car, smoked a joint, drank half a bottle of Jim Beam, threw up in the back seat and passed out. Still I think it was the right decision. No one got hurt with the scissors. And just so we are clear, there is no gender bias going on here. The girls were just as bad, if not worse at times. On the Monday of Homecoming week three of the cheerleaders sashayed up to my desk. Their hair was flipping from side to side in rhythm with their butts and their super short pleated skirts were teasing a peek with every step they took. At my desk, Bambi, asked if her and Barb and Beth could go to the gym and practice their new cheers for the Homecoming game. I was so proud of myself. I had this.
ME: Bambi(I remember her name because she ended up being Homecoming Queen. She had the blondest hair, the biggest boobs and she basted her cheerleading skirt up a couple extra inches)
ME: Bambi, what good would it do if just the three of you practiced the cheers without the other 2 cheerleaders?
BAMBI: Miss Renner, Britney is office aide this period and the secretary is letting her meet us in the gym as soon as she is done collecting the attendance slips. Brenda is library aid this period and Mrs. Hemingway is letting her come to practice with us as soon as she is done filing the new magazines.
ME: Well, I don’t believe you.
BAMBIE: We knew you wouldn’t so we brought a note from our advisor, Mrs. Glee.
Bambie pulled a sheet of notebook paper from the depths of her V-neck sweater and handed me the note.
It read; Miss Renner:
Please excuse Bambi, Barb and Beth from 7th Period Study Hall so that they can practice their new cheers for the Homecoming Game this Friday, Your cooperation will be much appreciated. Thank you, Mrs. Glee
Well, I guess if they had a note it was legit. Besides, I was happy to write them each a pass to the gym since they spent too much time talking in Study Hall anyway. As soon as the final bell rang for the day, I was called to the principal’s office. I barely got the door closed behind me when he asked if I had allowed 3 of the cheerleaders out of Study Hall without a pass.
ME: Of course not.
The principal went on to explain that the 3 girls who were suppose to be in my 7th Period Study Hall were found hiding in the boys’ locker room watching the football players shower. In my defense I told him that they had a note from Mrs. Glee asking me to excuse them from Study Hall so that they could practice their new cheers. He then, of course, asked to see the note. I was so proud of myself to have had the foresight to keep the note in case something like this came up. I handed him the note. He glanced at it, didn’t even read it, and shoved it back into my hands. Then he said, “Mrs. Glee doesn’t dot her “i’s” with a little daisies.”
[Crap, I should have caught that.]
I blushed and asked how much trouble I was in.
The principal answered, “Not enough to reassign someone else to 7th Period Study Hall.”