All my faithful blog readers now that I am one of the most technologically challenged person on the planet. I envision a 97 year old Peruvian grandmother living in a dirt floor hut in the Andes face-timing with her grandchildren every day. [I imagine the reception is great up in the mountains so close to the satellites.] After having my i-phone for 2 months I finally did face-time with my son just the other day when I called him about a computer problem. The printer wasn’t working and it was giving me an error message which was a combination of random letters and numbers that only the software developer could interpret. Don’t you just hate that “bong” sound you get when there is an error? My whole body cringes when I hear that sound because you know it is bad news. I was able to set the phone to face time. It was awesome seeing my son in real time, even so he was slightly scowling at me. I remember the day when just this very thing was the next big innovation. No one could possible imagine being able to actually see the person we would be talking to on the phone. All of us women were thinking how we possible could answer the phone before we styled our hair or put our makeup on. Anyway, I was talking to Nik about my printer error problem. He told me to run the phone so he could see the computer screen Of course it took me 10 minutes to position the phone so he could actually see and read the computer screen. He kept giving me directions like “hold the phone closer”, “move the phone to the left”, and “hold the phone straight up, for God’s sake.” He was able to fix my printer and I am happy to say that I am thankful that face time became a reality. Limited as I am about technology, I know the next big innovation. It is the Medi-chip.) It is a little chip that gets implanted into your wrist and it totally keeps track of everything going on inside your body. There will be a free Medi-chip app you can download to your i-hone that will constantly be in sync with the Medi-chip. You will at all time know what is going on in your body. Besides the obvious read outs like: blood pressure, heart rate, body temperature and weight, the chip will be able to inform you about what is mysteriously going on inside your body. Now I have thought this through a bit. The app can’t use an audio sound to alert you. Can you imagine being at work and everybody’s i-phone beeping out a body malfunction warning? That just would not work. So when there is something going on in your body that the Medi-chip needs to warn you about it sends a signal to the app on your phone and that signal gives you a little tingling feeling in your wrist and you now to check your i-hone to see what is going on. The possibility of what the Medi-chip could tell you would be endless. For example it could tell you a virus is on its way to attack your repertory system. That information could be followed by additional information and recommendations. Additional information could say that at this point the virus is weak. The recommendation could be to take 1,000 mg of Vitamin C, take 2 Zicam and drink three cups of Echinacea tea and you probably won’t even have to miss one day of work I like to visual things so this is how I imagine the app read out to look like:
ALERT: Sinuses are irritated and beginning to swell because of dust particles and various forms of pollen in the air.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: Clean out your sinuses with a Neti-pot.
RECOMMENDATIONS: Hire someone to do your yard work.
ALERT: A large gas bubble is making its way down your large intestines.
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION: It is predicted to be loud on release.
RECOMMENDATION: Now would be a good time to excuse yourself to the bathroom.
I think you get the idea. There would be one exception to the audio notification. At the end of your life you would heart that annoying ‘bonging” noise and the ALERT would be Fatal Error.