Some days I feel like life is a parade and I am just letting it pass by. That is indeed a sad and somber thought. But, truthfully some days I wish the parade of life would just pass by me. We all have had those types of days. It is that day when you are entry #37, the Budweiser Clydesdales are entry #36 and the pooper scoopers are entry #38. And try as you may, you can’t sidestep all the sh*t. Today was one of those days. First my alarm did not go off. When I did wake up I saw I had 20 minutes to get to work. I say a few choice words to the alarm clock all the while I know that yet again, I set the wake up time to pm instead of am. Luckily for me I did set out my clothes the night before. Unlucky for me I couldn’t button my pants. If there is a more disheartening way for any woman to start the day, then not being able to button a pair of pants I can’t imagine what that would be. And as much as I would love to say it was the dryer that shrunk my pants I know it was the fact that for three nights in a row I ate a pint of Chunky Monkey before going to bed. That being the case the pimple troll visited me during the night. The face that stares back at me has a giant red pimple on my chin and another on my left check right under my eye. I have some of the 4 hour magical Clearasil ultra cream, but I think they are measuring the hours on the planet Venus. I took up too much time putting on pimple cream and then trying to disguise them with a makeup that is 50 shades of beige. The pimples are more visible than ever. I have less than a minute to brush my teeth. With much huge vigorous brushing strokes I mange to knock my glasses off my face and into the toilet. This would be the toilet that I had not flushed. Thankfully, I had only gone No. 1 so I didn’t gag too much fishing my glasses out of the toilet bowl. I proceeded to use every antibacterial solution I have in the bathroom to disinfect my glasses. I know some of which should not have touched the lenses since I find myself looking through thick film sticking to my glasses. By this time I am completely out of time so I have to wait to clean my glass lenses when I get to work. I know this is yet another crappy decision, because driving in Dickinson with fogged up glasses is a death sentence. The flow of traffic is such that stop signs are optional, the purpose of a red light is to run it, and the entire driving population has forgotten the right of way rules. When I get to work at the library there is no nice precise marching along of the day. Instead the whole day is a parade route of missteps and mistakes. First I trip on the rug in the main lobby. Then my co-worker asks me if I am aware that my earrings don’t match. I miscalculate a fine in our favor much to the miffed patron. I mail out an Inter-library loan book when the requesting library clearly asked for the audio book. I tried to help this man on the computer insert some information into his resume. With one small click of the mouse his entire resume got jumbled into a mixed-up mess. I jammed up the copy machine so badly that a service technician had to be called. By the time I got home it felt like the entire drum section of the parade band had been practicing in my head for about a week. So what is that person in the bright purple jacket thinking? She is thinking that “I wish I was wearing a neat band parade hat instead of this stupid stocking cap.” [Actually, the guy to the right is thinking the same thing] But I am also thinking that I don’t want to let the parade of life just pass me by every day. Tomorrow is another parade and I am going to ask the Guy Upstairs if I can ride on a float and wave at people.
This post was inspired by The Weekly Photo Challenge http://wp.me/p23sd-6uE