Greetings my “Blends!” [Blog Friends]
I know it has been awhile since I posted a blog. Excuses are a dime a dozen. Well, actually in Dickinson they are more like $15.95 a dozen. I could list at least a dozen reasons why I haven’t posted for weeks but I rather spend my $15.95 on a dozen donuts with sprinkles. Dickinson continues to grow with the oil boom and those of us that do not have an oilfield job or our own oil well continue to be gouged by the prices of EVERYTHING. Lunch for two people at MacDonalds is now$15.95 and that is medium size and no apple pies for desert. Let me bring you up to date I what I haven’t been doing. I haven’t been cooking. The picture below is perfect proof of my lack of passion for the culinary arts.
I haven’t been getting any smarter about my i-phone. I have yet to speak to Siri. First of all I find her voice irritating. I mean in a world of 7 billion people they couldn’t find a smoother, sweeter voice. Instead her voice is aloof and impersonal. There are enough cold and insensitive people in the world; I don’t need on living in my phone. But I have to tell you for some odd reason I like the Candy Crush guy’s voice. In my opinion the way he says “sweet” and “delicious” is pretty darn sexy. Yes, I decided to join the rest of the world and download Candy Crush onto my i-phone. Of course the whole downloading process wasn’t that simple since I totally forgot my Apple ID. But once I re-“ID”ed myself to Apple they let me download Candy Crush for free. Of course I also had to give them my credit card and billing address in case I want to buy something. I am assuming the “something” is levels that I get stuck on. However, I do worry that one false touch on the screen and a delivery truck is going to dump a load of Hot Tamales in my driveway. I don’t totally understand the game. In fact I don’t understand any of the game except to match three of the same candies in a row. But the game is addicting. It is addicting to the point that I have my suspicious about it. I think the government is in cahoots with Apple to begin the process of implementing mind control. How else would you explain perfectly normal, relatively intellectual, and competent people pulling out their i-phone at the oddest times to beat the next level of Candy Crush? I guess it is a good way to kill time while you are waiting in the Walmart checkout. But then are you paying attention to your surroundings? No you are totally focusing on lining up five Jelly Bellys to get a striped candy and gummi fish swimming across the screen. Actually think of the candies themselves. I think the governments spent billions of dollars studying what shapes and colors of candy would be most effective in turning a person’s mind into mush. Take the lemon drops for example. Lemon drops aren’t really shaped that way. Most of the square gum I have had experience with is white and definitely not neon green. I am thinking the orange Jelly Bellys remind people of creamscicles, which reminds them of their childhood, which puts their minds in a completely impressionable state. I don’t know about you, but I have never eaten a purple hexagon candy of any sort. I would be interested in knowing what effect purple hexagons have on a person’s mind. I am convinced it is a government conspiracy. In fact I wouldn’t doubt it if the electric companies are all in on it. Do you know how often you have to charge your phone once you are hooked and just have to beat the next level? Now if you will excuse me, I am stuck on level 13.